Blah

"Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God."  Psalm 42:5

I feel blah today.  Not sick-blah, but blah-blah.  I awoke feeling that way, and I can't seem to completely shake it.  It's the rare-for-me kind of day that could cause me to sink, if I let it, into a sea of depression.  I know, because many years ago, before I knew how to fight it, I was sunk for an extended period of time.

I'm not worried about it.  I have a day like this from time to time, and because I've learned to not wallow in it, I'm usually fine by later in the same day or the following day.

Wallowing is what used to get me in trouble.  There's a big difference between experiencing and wallowing.  I can choose to experience my blues-y feelings for as long as they hang around, but still fight against them by focusing on all the blessings in my life, filling my mind with Scripture, and praying for God to hold my struggling self up.  Years ago, I would wallow by using my unstable emotions as an excuse to . . . what?  Have a pity party?  Be less than kind to my husband?  Withdraw from life?

I was in the depths of despair back then.  My focus was on me, and I lived by those undependable things called emotions instead of keeping my eyes and my mind on the Truth.

Who knows what has triggered my blues today?  Probably too much holiday sugar! lol  The wonderful thing is that, though I feel a bit "oppressed," the reality is that I'm free!  I don't need to look backward and try to figure out why I'm feeling the way I am.  The truth is that the whys don't matter nearly as much as the Who standing in front of me, beckoning me to keep my eyes on Him.  He'll rescue me!  He may first say, "Go ahead and feel sad for awhile today.  I have a purpose in you feeling the weight of the world for today.  Just don't make it your main focus!"

But I know from past experience that He will pull me out of it quickly because that's what I want.  Not that He gives me everything I want, but, in this case, I want what He wants.  His Word says that He wants me to experience joy.  Joy does not always include happiness, but it never means using unhappiness as an excuse to sink further, to give up the fight.  The more I return my focus to the right place, the less room there is for the blues.

So, Lord, I'm ready anytime You are! :)

Please note:  The kind of blues and depression I've written about here is the kind that is more of a spiritual and mental battle, rather than a physical imbalance that requires medication.  Though I do suspect medication is sometimes prescribed  too hastily, I do not doubt or deny that medication is necessary in some cases.  Or, for some, it might be beneficial to talk with a professional Christian counselor.  I have no training in the fields of medicine or psychology, but if you suspect your blues or depression are more than just a problem with your own attitude, consider seeking help.  Don't go through it alone!