How's That Working for Ya?

Children and staff being threatened with violence and death at school.

Children and staff actually suffering violence and death at school.

Violence and death at the mall, the post office, the theater, a famous city marathon.

National debt at a number impossible to comprehend.

Joblessness.

Families falling apart.

Schools failing (many, not all).

All kinds of crime.

Depression and hopelessness.

Has the world gotten better as we, collectively, have tried to "erase" God from the picture?  Whether purposefully or via apathy, how has our ignoring God and His principles helped us?

He's always there, whether we choose to believe or not.  He never forces anyone to love or even acknowledge Him during our earthly life story.  But He was loving enough to warn us in His Word of the consequences of this attitude. 

And we're watching it play out right before our eyes . . . the words written thousands of years ago are happening right now!

As a society, we are trying to become "God-less."  How's it working?  How much better off are we?

Of Hysterectomies and Un-Spring Cleaning

So, I have a hysterectomy scheduled for the near future. The reasons are various and serious. That's all the detail I will be going into here on this public blog, but if you know me and have questions, you're welcome to ask . . . and I will probably answer. ;)

I have had a rough time of it since the beginning of this year, but God has proven Himself faithful again and again, constantly.  He is leading me, teaching me, comforting me, lovingly disciplining me, providing for me, and forever showing me His perfect love.

Few people ask to go through trials in life.  I definitely don't.  But we all must walk through them anyway at times during our earthly journey.  Oh, how I haven't wanted to endure these last few months and the next couple of months, yet how else could I possibly see God's hand at work as clearly as I can now?  It is unmistakably evident that He has had and continues to have a plan in all of this.  He has at least one new daughter that I'm aware of who came to know Him because of circumstances surrounding my surgery last month.  My silly little surgery (my first ever!) that I was so worried about and was discouraged that it had not been as successful as hoped . . . until I heard about my new sister in Christ, whom I've never met, yet have this freaky-in-a-good-way connection with.  My pity party was over instantly and was replaced with excitement and re-focus on the fact that none of this is random, I'm not being picked on, and God is working mightily!

Now, I am not looking forward to this upcoming surgery anymore than anyone else would be.  And I'm probably even less enthusiastic about the long recovery afterward.  It drives me CRAZY to sit around and do nothing.  Did you hear me?  CRAZY!!!!  (See?  I'm already showing signs . . .)  I panic sometimes just thinking about it all.  But, you know the conclusion I come to every time when I reign in my thoughts?  There's a reason!  It's good.  Not easy, but good.  And then I almost look forward to seeing what God has in mind.  What will He teach me?  How will He work?  Something's up, and I'm beginning to anticipate finding out what it is!

So, this whole recovery time thing brings me to the subject of "Un-Spring Cleaning."  What IS un-spring cleaning, you might ask.  Well, it's my abridged version of spring cleaning this year.  It's kinda like spring cleaning, but not really.  For instance, today I "worked" on the bookshelves.  I had intended to take all the books down as usual and give the shelves a good cleaning.  Then I got real.  I simply don't have time for that this time!  And it's going to be okay!  Yes, I just took down the other things on the shelves (you know, candles and other decorative things), cleaned the shelves on any surface that books don't cover, and called it "fine."  Really--how much dust gets under those books anyway, right?  My theory right now (and this is with a lot of coaching from loving friends and family who I've had to admit are right!) is that anything I don't get done before surgery and recovery will still be there after.  I have ample offers of help for things that need to continue to be done during my convalescence, but my blinds will still do their job whether or not I clean them now or in the summer.  Know what I'm saying?  I actually almost believe this!  I'm learning well! ;)

Speaking of ample offers of help, people are so kind.  I've been showered with kindness all throughout the past months and have been so blessed.  The care of my son during my upcoming surgery, meals provided, so many encouraging words and cards and helpful advice, and, most importantly, the support of so very many faithful prayer warriors.  Whenever Kevin and I have gone through a dark or troubled time in our lives, the kindness of God's people is so extra-evident, shining through like the brightest of lights.  We are so grateful to everyone who is touching our lives in these different ways.  If you are one of them--thank you from the bottom of my heart!

If you are going through a hard time, hang on!  God has not dropped you from His hand, and He definitely has a good reason for allowing difficult circumstances in your life.  Don't be afraid!  One of my favorite verses lately, one that I've heard a million times but has once again taken on new meaning for me is:

"Do not fear for I am with you;  Do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

                                                                          AND

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, because the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you."  Deut. 31:6

Right Now!

This is likely the most humiliating thing I've ever written or will ever write for public consumption, but what is a blog for if not to humiliate oneself from time to time in hopes of helping and encouraging others?

And that is what this is about.

God, please speak to each reader of this blog post, and open each heart to what You have for each to individually ponder.

So, it all started a couple weeks ago.  Well, kind of.  My sanity began a couple weeks ago as I experienced the most frightening medical "drama" of my life.  Let's just say, for the sake of propriety, that I had a very, very, very severe "female problem" to the max, and leave it at that.

It was a nightmare.  It was unbelievable.  I wondered if I would I die.  And I'm not exaggerating.

My first reaction was to panic and cry and plead with God.  And violently shiver in fear.

At last I was in a position to be able to tell my husband what was happening.  My dear, wonderful, sane, wise husband.  God has blessed him with a calmness in turmoil that amazes me every time.  He is Jesus to me (you know what I mean by that, right?) in so many ways.  He spoke truth into my life and helped clear my head to focus on that truth.  He comforted me.  Or shall I say, my loving Lord comforted me through him?

Through the Lord ministering to my terrified, seeking-Him heart, I realized something vital.  And I apologized to Him and to my husband profusely.  And I sought to cling to the forgiveness they both genuinely and freely offer me.  But it's still a struggle to accept that forgiveness.  I keep apologizing to them both, knowing I don't need to for their sakes, yet still needing to for the purging of my own heart.

What I realized is that I had been living in the bondage of fear.  Whatever turned out to be wrong with me, whatever was causing these horrible symptoms, was partly, if not totally, my own doing.

See, I've had this totally irrational fear of going to doctors.  Not the doctors themselves.  I've never had a doctor who was less than a wonderful person.  No, it was the idea of going to a doctor, of what they might say is wrong with me, of feeling judged, of not living up to the accountability they offered me.

So I didn't go.

This is SO humiliating.  Press on, Laur.

The last time I went was a few years ago, and my doctor wanted me to have some routine blood work done.  I never went back to have it done.

Is that ridiculous?  Yes!  But in my mind, in my state of denial, it made perfect sense.  And when it didn't make sense, I rearranged my thoughts in my mind until it did.

I most certainly didn't spend much time talking to the Lord about this.  Oh, yes, I know how He impresses things on my heart when He wants me to do them, and I did not want His impressions regarding this area of my life.

How arrogant!  How dreadful!  How I regret this attitude.

For, you see, now that I was forced to face my fear, bite the bullet, and seek medical help, I have been informed of extensive medical problems that I now have to deal with, at least one of them for the rest of my life.  With still more upcoming tests, I don't yet know the full extent of what my fear-induced neglect has done.

Let me just emphasize right now that I am not saying that everyone who suffers medical conditions has brought that on him/herself.  Nor am I saying that these things definitely wouldn't have happened to me had I kept up with regular doctor appointments.

But my denial was calculated and driven by hideous fear, and I can't help assuming things would not have gone as far as they did had I been accountable to a doctor.

If fear of going to doctors isn't an issue for you, I'm happy for you.  You probably have no idea what I'm talking about and can't imagine someone being that irrationally afraid.  But it's real.  In the recent past, I have willingly faced other fears of mine and conquered them.  I have a couple more to go.  And, let me tell you, I'm not waiting until I'm forced to face them after what I've learned in this situation.

So, let me get to the point of why I wanted to share this with you.  With all my heart I want to urge you to do what you need to do.  Even if you're afraid.  Do it!

I don't know what that might be for you.  But, if there is something, you know.  Surely if there is something God wants you to do, His Spirit moves you in some way even as you ignore the stirrings.  I encourage you to stop running, turn around, and act courageously!  God says in His Word that He wants us to do what we need to do even when we're scared to do it.  If He asks us to do something, He will equip us to do it!

I wasn't trusting Him.  I was doing things my own way because I didn't trust Him!  I have cried rivers of tears over that, not just because of the consequences I am experiencing but also out of the deep regret of realizing how I was not honoring Him, not loving Him fully.

Please! Please don't wait until you're "sick" (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.) to take action.  Do not allow the bondage of fear, denial, or stubbornness to hold you back!  Don't do what I did!

Do what you need to do!

Is there a phone call you need to make?  A relationship you need to take steps to mend?  Something you need to give up?  A good habit you need to practice?  A Bible study you need to join?  An accountability partner you need to seek?  A confession you need to make?  A mistake (well-intentioned or not) you need to correct?
If there's something you've known you needed to do, please do it now!  Pray about it, ask for Him to be the courage you don't have on your own.  Then trust Him!  Do it!

If you are reading this, I care about you.  I may not know you, but I care!  If I do know you, this is extra humiliating!  I'm aware of what you could potentially think about me now that I've "come clean."  I know that I'm risking people talking about me and my "issues" behind my back (there are always those who seem to find their value/worth in that kind of thing--sad!).  These are things I could allow to terrify me into silence.

But, strangely, I don't feel terrified!  Concerned, maybe, but not terrified.  I feel FREE to obey the Lord in writing and posting this.  Yes, this freedom is so . . . freeing! :)  I mean, it really doesn't matter what the readers of this post think of me.  No offense meant at all, but I'm not living for you!  I'm living for Him!

And I care about you, whoever you are, more than I care to hang on to fear.  So that is why I'm putting aside my pride and hoping you will receive this message and do something about it if it pertains to you.

Right now.  It's all we have for sure.  Don't wait to obey His whisperings.  Talk to Him about anything you've been ignoring.  See how He helps you be brave!  Jump off what seems like a cliff and find yourself in His strong, capable arms!

I feel unworthy to be saying these things, as I did not live up to them myself in this situation.  But somehow I know God is asking me to say them anyway.  I have been so humbled through this ordeal.  Lord, please take my garbage and somehow transform it and use it to help someone, as only You can do!

My One Thousand Gifts

I've taken the challenge to think of 1,000 (and beyond) things to be thankful for.  To read what this is all about, read my previous blog post here.

1. The one and only true God:  Father, Son and Holy Spirit
2. The Bible
3. Kevin
4. Little Mister                                   
5. Family
6. Friends
7. Forgiveness
8. Home education
9. Many moments, fleeting as they are, with my son
10. Crockpot meals
11. Cell phones
12. Cozy house
13. Large windows through which to gaze upon the seasons of creation
14. White daisies in winter
15. Liquid sunshine of oranges
16. Candles flickering
17. Bible study
18. Second chances
19. Good music
20. Family mealtimes
21. Family prayer
22. Family devotions
23. Cozy winter evenings
24. Warm clothes
25. Heat of the furnace
26. Bread machine to make the dough
27. Giggling girls
28. Strings of white lights
29. Scrambled eggs
30. The library
31. Sales at a store
32. Penguin pajamas already too short for growing legs
33. Always enough
34. SGC
35. Fluffy white rice
36. Crispy green salad
37. Mechanical pencils
38. Christmas carols whenever
39. Good workouts
40. A chivalrous husband
41. A helpful son
42. Computer keyboard for my fingers to fly over, expressing thoughts
43. Date night
44. Family game night
45. Laughter
46. Accountability
47. Netflix streaming
48. Rain's pitter-patter
49. Opportunities to help my son grow, and to grow sometimes myself in those times
50. Bottles of toilet bowl cleaner that can eventually be opened
51. Restored relationship between mother and son, when both have erred
52. Refreshing, healing tears
53. Wisdom freely given by God
54. Sweet, tangy pineapple
55. Tylenol/Ibuprofen
56. Fresh-smelling laundry
57. Crumbly toppings
58. Redemption
59. The of hope of spring
60. Focus
61. Hair products
62. Warm to hot showers
63. Fluffy pillows
64. Boy being diligent
65. Nerf gun darts found in funny places
66. Our big lug of a dog, Theo
67. Lego creations
68. Solid, trustworthy neighbors
69. Child's newly cleaned room
70. My girlie red Bible cover
71. The calming of anxious thoughts
72. Theo's amusing howls at the tornado siren tests
73. Mild winters
74. Memories
75. Furrowed brow of boy pouring over open Bible and concordance
76. Happy songs of sweet little birds
77. Sweet-but-not-too-sweet blueberry buckle
78. New, fresh days with no mistakes in them (yet)
79. Check marks
80. Best effort
81. My white board wall in the school room
82. Bursts of warm golden sunlight
83. A comfortable toothbrush
84. Husband or son whistling cheerily
85. Son ready for spelling test
86. Wisdom and fun to "like" on Facebook
87. Photographs, old and new
88. Father-son time--precious to see
89. Newborn babies
90. Liberty
91. Stars in the clear night sky
92. Texting
93. The light at the end of the tunnel
94. WoW Connect! writers
95. Flexibility
96. Chattering of busy squirrels
97. Clinking of clean plates stacking in the cupboard
98. Wintery pine scent of flickering candle
99. Post-it notes
100. Laughter after tears
101. Medical advances
102. Chick flicks
103. Warm gloves
104. Helping someone figure things out
105. Pinterest--Oh, the ideas!
106. A balanced budget
107. Cartoons for a sick boy
108. Possible snow
109. Fixed mistakes
110. Kind words spoken
111. Valentines for Mommy, lovingly created by 9-year-old boy's hands and heart--does it get any sweeter?
112. Composers of old
113. New hands to play the music
114. An unexpected treat dropped off for sick boy
115. Healing
116. A library full of life stories, real or imagined, free for the reading
117. New recipes
118. Old recipes, handed down through generations
119. Light snowfall against midnight sky
120. Sound of Daddy reading to son
121. Surprises to plan for my guys
122. Heart message on paper
123. Quiet afternoon--son studying, candle flickering, God's Word saturating my heart and mind
124. Far-away friends--memories carry me through the missing of them
125. Kay Arthur--such a wise and strong example, helping to bring the Word into focus
126. Dear son's opening heart
127. Love poems from husband
128. Celebrating, even in the mourning, a precious life lived for Him
129. Boy hunched over microscope, discovering the mysteries of the world
130. Comforter on our bed lopsided because sweet son surprised me by making it for me
131. "Grampy Bumps"--when one person high fives while the other knuckle bumps
132. Finding and listening to CD I forgot I had
133. Changes
134. Kevin's strong hand grasping mine across the table
135. Date Night Challenge
136. New friends
137. The testimony of one grieving in the comforting arms of Jesus 
138. Family game of Twister--hilarious!
139. Comfortable silences
140. Deep questions
141. Always more to learn
142. The sound of precious son writing song lyrics to the Lord
143. The day after a disappointing election.  The golden sun still rises.
144. That God is still in control
145. Fluffy scrambled eggs for breakfast
146. Light of all kinds
147. Warm November days to get the Christmas lights ready!
148. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus; sweetest name I know
149. My husband of strong character
150. My sweet son, sho toddled into my life at just the right time
151. God's never changing, always life-filled Word
152. The family of 7 I grew up with on Elm Circle Drive
153. Elim
154. Miss Margaret
155. My brothers-in-law--best brothers I ever had! :)
156. My loveable nieces and nephews
157. Photos--capturing memories
158. My family-in-love
159. Friends, old and new
160. Saturdays!
161. Music:  songs of praise, a chorus of birds, a great band, 80s music, the crooners of old, a child's laughter, a symphony orchestra, a favorite hymn, a powerful pipe organ (thanks to Dad)
162. Warmth
163. Memories
164. Quiet moments
165. A day set aside to give thanks
166. Extra long weekends
167. A washer and dryer
168. A weekend family getaway
169. An anticipated phone call
170. Chores that keep us humble
171. Feeling better after being sick
172. A new opportunity
173. The chance to grow
174. Grace
175. Mercy!
176. A kiss on the cheek
177. The antics of 10-year-old boys
178. Legos
179. Decorating for Christmas
180. Finding the perfect gift
181. Christmas sales
182. Christmas baking with LM
183. The book of John
184. Puffs Plus
185. Cousins
186. Sleepy yawns at night
187. Family reunions
188.  

Haven of Home: Decorating

This year's tree

At Christmas time several years ago, I gave in to the "everything has to match" mentality and decorated my tree with matchy-matchy stuff.  It looked pretty, and there's nothing at all wrong with having an elegant tree for Christmas if that's what you like, but . . . it wasn't me.  It wasn't us.

It made me sad to leave all of our memory-filled ornaments packed away.  In fact, if I remember right, I ended up taking them out and putting them up with the matchy-matchy stuff anyway! lol

Who says everything has to match?

Yes, I see that the ribbon has been pulled unevenly, probably by the dog's tail; and that smallish hands clumped ornaments together, leaving big spaces; but who cares?  This look is unique to this year--next year everything will be in a different order.  We will have fun together making it into whatever it turns out to be! lol

Probably my fave ornament

I remember the sweet old gentleman who made this from a gourd and gave it to me when I was a little girl. :)

Again, there's nothing wrong with everything on the tree being color-coordinated.  It would drive some people crazy to have mismatched memories rather than color-coordinating perfection as much as it drove me nuts to not wear my heart on my tree, so to speak.  It's all good!

Top of a bookshelf--weird angle. lol

This is week #4 of the Making Your Home a Haven fall challenge over at Women Living Well.  Decorating, of course, is a perfect focus for this time of year.  I'm not a decorator.  But I know what I like and what makes our family feel at home.

Above a mirror in the living room

You don't have to have a lot of money to "decorate" your home with warmth, whether we're talking Christmas decor or just home decor in general.  Use what you have in creative ways.  If you have more than you need, share with someone who has little.  If you're one who has little, there are lots of websites on how to do a lot with a little.  Every small touch you add makes your home warmer and reflects a little more of you. :)  None of us needs to feel pressured to decorate like someone else nor feel badly if our homes don't look like the pages of a magazine.  That idea is very shallow and a lie. The most important "decorating" comes from loving and welcoming hearts and warm smiles. :)

 

Making Your Home a Haven: Cooking

Ya gotta love Courtney over at Women Living Well and her ideas for the Making Your Home a Haven fall challenge.  This is my second year participating and it's just so meaningful.  The first week was focusing on lighting a candle every day; last week we added quiet (and sometimes not-so-quiet) music; and this week, the third part of the challenge is cooking!

Courtney has a great post about cooking and, if you have kids, including them in food preparation.  Check it out!  It's the perfect week for this part of the challenge. :)

As for me, I'm going to link you to some of my family's favorite Thanksgiving recipes--easy and tasty!

Here's a cranberry-ish dish that even children love.  As a matter of fact, children probably love it more than the adults do, but most adults like it as well. ;)  Cranberry-Raspberry Salad

An alternative to pumpkin pie, this one has won over even kids who don't particularly like the pumpkin in pie.  Pumpkin Pie Cake

Here's a fancy, but easy, way to fix corn for any dinner.  Triple Corn Casserole

This one is a little Thanksgiving treat that you'll want the kids to help with!  Pilgrim Hat Cookies

Happy Cooking!  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! :)

The Thanksgiving Tree

I would love to meet Ann Voskamp.  Her influence on me this past year, through her book and ministry, has been such a huge blessing.  It was she who gave me the idea to start this Thanksgiving Tree this month to help my family focus on the many, many blessings for which we are grateful.  I had to share it with you because it's such a great idea, and it works!

Just go outside and gather a bunch of sticks, arrange them in a vase, then go here (takes a minute or two to load) and print and cut out the leaves.  Each leaf has a colorful side with a Bible gratitude verse and a blank side for you to write what you are thankful for.  We read the verse and our own written part together before hanging it on the "tree." 

I think it's meant to be one leaf per day, but I see no reason to limit it to that if we can think of more blessings in a day!  I just scattered the extra leaves around the bottom of the vase, and will print out more when needed.

The month is half over, but it's not too late to start this project for your home, whether your household contains you alone or lots of people or somewhere in the middle!  We all are blessed in so many ways, it's probably not too difficult to think of at least 2 blessings a day to "catch up" by the end of the month! :)