My 10-year-old son loves, loves, loves to write songs and sing them over and over. He has a yellow legal pad where he scribbles down new lyrics. As he doesn't know how to write music notes at this point, the melodies change over time.
But does that bother God? I mean, He is the one almost all of these songs are written for--songs of worship, songs of surrender, songs of loyalty--all to his God.
Earlier this evening, Little Mister and I had an argument. Well, to be more precise, he was arguing with me, and I, being overly exhausted from an extended period of insomniac nights, was having a hard time thinking of the wisest ways to handle it. I remained fairly calm, but was probably adding more to the drama than I would typically prefer with my strong-willed guy!
In any case, he was sent to bed early after I told him how much I love him no matter what. He went obligingly, but I could tell he was still upset at his consequence--thinking it undeserved and all of that.
A little while later, I heard a noise behind me and turned around in time to see his quick-as-a-flash figure disappear around the corner. On the table was his hand-held tape recorder (an old one--yeah, like from the 1980s--that Kevin gave him to use). I've come to recognize that tape recorder to be like the notes I used to write to my parents when I had a lot to say but wanted to make sure I said it the way I meant it. Oh, yes, my parents found oodles of notes on their pillows over the years, from their five girls. :)
So, I picked up the tape player and pressed the "play" button. What filled my ears (and my heart!) was a made-up-as-he-went-along song about how I am the best mom and how he loves me even when we don't agree and how much I do for him and how I saved his life (not sure what that's all about! lol).
It was the sweetest thing.
More than anything, it encouraged me. And, oh, how I've needed encouragement like this lately! It brightened my heart to know that, even with the everyday struggles we still endure (to the point where I worry he will never "get it!"), I have proof in my hands that he IS learning and he IS getting it! He's getting the big picture, that people can love each other even when they don't agree. He understands forgiveness and reaching out to someone even if they've made you mad by sending you to bed early or whatever! ;)
That's big! He's absorbing the big ideas first, I guess, and the day-to-day, moment by moment living out of his beliefs is progressing with time, surely. I can insist that LM obeys me, but I can't change anything about his heart, his motivation for obeying--which is what God cares about! Which is what only God can change. Robotic obedience does not glorify the Lord.
Oh, how I needed that reassurance that God is working.
Oh, how I needed that song from the heart! :)