Desperate!!

Oh, my goodness, I sometimes have become SO very upset with my precious son over the years.  I mean, really, really upset!

Not that I haven't had reasons for concern, don't you know.  Certainly it is in my job description to help my charge learn to avoid the wayward ways and coach him along to the paths of righteousness.  Now, as I've shared before, I'm working on doing so in gentle ways.

But sometimes I haven't felt gentle.  I have felt frantic!  Desperate!

It finally hit me the other day what my problem is.  I'm trying to be the Holy Spirit to my child.  Time is flying by and I have felt like it's totally up to my husband and me to make sure Little Mister is the way he's supposed to be by the time he leaves our nest.  Not that I haven't given credit to the Lord for His work so far, but I have added a burden to myself that God never intended. 

It's not so much that my approach has been all wrong (though there's always room to learn and improve!), but the desperation I feel when Little Mister doesn't "get it" in my timing is not from God, and it often leads me to feel irritated or annoyed or some kind of upset which, though I try not to show it, I'm sure shows at times. 

The truth is that there is no need to feel desperation.  My job is to be faithful, to do the time-consuming, sometimes heart-wrenching stuff that God has asked me to do--supporting him in prayer constantly, teaching him to study God's Word, trying to be a good model for him, remaining consistent, remembering to praise the good, not making bad behavior worth it (allowing him to suffer consequences), balancing accountability and mercy (oooo, that's so hard to know how to do sometimes!) . . . the list of Mom's Jobs goes on of course . . .

But the results are out of my hands.  They are between LM and his God.  No room for desperation there.  I simply (?) need to let go of that and trust . . .

The Kind He'd Hire!

During school the other day, Little Mister was having some trouble, as all kids do from time to time, with doing his best.  Ironically, his sloppiness was in penmanship, where he was supposed to be copying Proverbs 20:11 "Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right."  The text was there for him to copy, yet there were spelling errors and incorrectly-formed letters.

Now, the child is only in 2nd grade, has just been learning cursive this year, and I don't expect perfection.  But I also know what he can do when he applies himself, and this wasn't it!  The verse itself was the springboard for a very interesting conversation between the two of us.

I sat him down next to me, put one arm around him and, with my free hand, held the paper where he could look it over again.  "If someone didn't know anything about you but what they see on this paper, what do you think they would think of the boy who wrote it?"


With a sheepishly honest expression he replied, "That he doesn't pay attention or care about doing things right."


I had to agree--gently, of course.  Our little ones need to be held accountable, but they can be fragile at times, wouldn't you say?  No need to make them feel stupid or inadequate!  Honesty, tempered with love, is the best policy!


"Right now, while you are a boy, Daddy and I have to train you up to be the kind of man God wants you to be.  It's so much better to break bad habits now, so you're not known by them later.  If a man wrote this, what do you think another grown-up would think of that man?"


"That he was not the kind of man his daughter should marry!"


(Had to stifle a laugh here--how marriage came to mind, I have no idea!)  "Well, that could be so.  But what if it was the boss at a company who needed to hire a good worker?  Do you think he would look at this and think, 'Wow, he must be a careful and diligent worker! Hire him immediately!' or 'Wow, he doesn't care to do his work right--he's not for this company!'"


My smart Little Mister said, "He wouldn't want to hire me."


"I'm afraid you're probably right.  So, would you rather be the kind of man a boss would want to hire, or not hire?"


"The kind he'd hire!" he answered enthusiastically.


"Well, that's what we need to practice now, while you're young."


I love that I could give my favorite student a big hug before sending him back to his desk to try again! :)

These "teachable moments" are numerous every day--for all parents!  I don't know about you, but I often hear my words in my own ears, like the Lord is reminding me to work on the adult versions of those same lessons.

Sometimes, I'm in the middle of a sentence directed at the most special child in the world to me, or at my absolutely precious husband, and it suddenly dawns on me how I actually sound.  The tone of voice, choice of words, exasperated body language . . . it's not my best.  It's just me thinking about me.  Not my best at all!

When we're adults, our parents and other "grown-ups" can and should lovingly hold us accountable to what's right, but they can no longer discipline us when we're going the wrong way!  Hopefully by now we have developed some amount of self-motivation to keep doing better.  For Christ-followers, there is the very Spirit of God at work in our lives, and hopefully we become more and more willing to listen to His leading. 

Doing our best--it's important at all ages! :)