Oh, my goodness, I sometimes have become SO very upset with my precious son over the years. I mean, really, really upset!
Not that I haven't had reasons for concern, don't you know. Certainly it is in my job description to help my charge learn to avoid the wayward ways and coach him along to the paths of righteousness. Now, as I've shared before, I'm working on doing so in gentle ways.
But sometimes I haven't felt gentle. I have felt frantic! Desperate!
It finally hit me the other day what my problem is. I'm trying to be the Holy Spirit to my child. Time is flying by and I have felt like it's totally up to my husband and me to make sure Little Mister is the way he's supposed to be by the time he leaves our nest. Not that I haven't given credit to the Lord for His work so far, but I have added a burden to myself that God never intended.
It's not so much that my approach has been all wrong (though there's always room to learn and improve!), but the desperation I feel when Little Mister doesn't "get it" in my timing is not from God, and it often leads me to feel irritated or annoyed or some kind of upset which, though I try not to show it, I'm sure shows at times.
The truth is that there is no need to feel desperation. My job is to be faithful, to do the time-consuming, sometimes heart-wrenching stuff that God has asked me to do--supporting him in prayer constantly, teaching him to study God's Word, trying to be a good model for him, remaining consistent, remembering to praise the good, not making bad behavior worth it (allowing him to suffer consequences), balancing accountability and mercy (oooo, that's so hard to know how to do sometimes!) . . . the list of Mom's Jobs goes on of course . . .
But the results are out of my hands. They are between LM and his God. No room for desperation there. I simply (?) need to let go of that and trust . . .