I just don't know. Either way, I'm practicing transparency here. ;)
"Sometimes I wish you were Mrs. Potato Head," said he.
Oh, really?
He didn't need to explain. He was wishing he could remove my mouth without hurting me. Actually, sometimes I wish that myself, but that's another post.
In this particular case, I wasn't in the wrong. I was simply and calmly holding him accountable. He didn't want to face it. I wasn't raising my voice in the slightest or speaking rashly or stupidly. I have done both more times than I can count, but this was not one of those times.
I gave him his wish, since we were getting nowhere anyway. I handed him his flash cards and said, in a very matter-of-fact (friendly, even!) tone, "If I'm so annoying to listen to, you can have a break. You're on your own for the rest of the school day."
I calmly walked out of the room into the kitchen and started on the lunch dishes I had yet to clean up (I can keep my eye on him in the kitchen, which is also where the computer is), wondering if what I was doing would be effective in any way. I have one assurance: I didn't do it out of anger. My most stupid homeschooling moments happen when I'm angry!
Barely a minute passed before I heard, "Mom, will you please come back and be my teacher?"
I thought about it. It was tempting. I love teaching my Little Mister. But, nope, I feel the need to stick to my guns here. It's possible that you would need to have witnessed the whole scene that preceded the strike to understand any of this. Or maybe you would never understand. That's okay. My son is tough. If I'm doing the wrong thing today, he's not going to be scarred for life because of it. I'm right here in the next room. I won't let anything happen to him. And I don't sense it's the wrong thing. It's just such a weird idea that I'm second guessing myself.
After a few minutes, I talked to him about what he is expected to accomplish and the reasons I'm on strike (though I didn't use those words) for the rest of the school day.
When he gets to history here in a little while, the impact of having a Mrs. Potato Head teacher with no mouth is likely to be at its fullest. I'm not sure how he's going to make it, but he's creative. He'll figure it out. And if he doesn't, then he'll have the corrections to do, which will further the impact. That can only be good.
The reasons I don't feel guilty as I sit here and sip a cup of tea and work out my thoughts on my blog, while he sits in the next room struggling a bit with his school work, are the following:
1. I didn't make this decision out of anger or revenge
2. My beloved son is learning a lesson about respecting authority and appreciating the help he normally receives.
3. This same child who wanted me to be Mrs Potato Head said to me earlier today, "I'm so glad you're my teacher and that you keep helping me until I get something right." There are more than just academics that we all need to "get right." I pray he is learning something in his heart right now, with the security that I'm here to take care of him in an emergency or whatever and that I love him more than ever (in fact, he just came in and gave me a big hug and we talked some more about heart issues), but also learning to understand that his parents, teachers and other authority figures are necessary and his life would be lacking without their/our influence.
So, what do you think? Am I nuts, or would you have tried it if it occurred to you? I would love to have your input!
PS Of course, I'm not suggesting that I or anyone else should *look* for a reason to go on a short strike, just to have a day off! Please hear me on that! :)
For a follow-up post, click here.
Oh, Laurie - the Lord has given you a wise heart. Little Mister is one of the most fortunate children I know.
ReplyDeleteYou're a GREAT mom and teacher. I love what you did! Good thinking!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you're nuts, I think you're brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI think you may be nominated for Mom of the Year! Hope you enjoyed your "time off"!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not crazy! I did something similar one time when my two were constantly bickering with each other. I separated them and told them that each had to live as if they were an only child. My thoughts were that my daughter would back off and be more tolerant of her brother. What happened was that my son, who's normally disconnected from his feelings, started really missing his sister. They were reunited later and the bickering stopped; at least for a little while. But every time I remind them of that day, the bickering decreases. These are lessons they all need to learn! Heather
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Laurie! I have withdrawn myself from my children for being disrepectful more than once and out of love....like you said, one of the times I actually didn't react according to my sin nature, but responded instead, in love to them. It was THE most effective thing I've ever done and they all know now, that it's painful to be separated from the one who is your biggest cheerleader and support system. The result was a great teaching opportunity and a better relationship between us. Good for you! I remember thinking as I prayed about it, that the worst thing that can happen to us as a result of our sin, is for God not to hear our prayers or to be separated from Him and I realized that since He is the wisest parent ever, implementing that with our own children occasionally is following His example and everything He does is wise and loving, right? Even when it's painful. I loved reading this. You are such a good writer and the Mrs. Potato thing cracked me up!
ReplyDeleteHi Laurie, I think that what you did is an amazing example of love and reality. As you stated you didn't do it out of anger, you continued to love him anyway and you communicated to him with non harsh, loud words which also shows you care. It allows him to know that often times we have to learn lessons and do so even if we have to feel a little bit sad by our actions. I also think that you made it clear that he needed to work through things yet you still love him anyway. I hope I can be as good of mom someday! Way to go!!
ReplyDelete