Monday, January 16, 2012

Gentle Mothering, Part 3

For two full weeks now, I've been paying extra special attention to being more gentle in my interactions with my son.  This was prompted by the Gentleness Challenge for January at the Women Living Well site.

It has been awesome, and humbling, to recognize some of my less-than-gentle approaches and work on replacing them with more God-honoring ways.  I certainly haven't "arrived," but it's good to be aware and working on it.  (My own blog post for week 1 is here, and week 2 is here)

For reasons I will reveal more in depth in the near future, I have been focusing a lot on giving thanks for whatever I can think of to be thankful for.  I have found that this exercise actually helps in my attempts to be a more purposely gentle mom.  When I find myself feeling frustrated with my son's behavior, I stop myself and think of something I can be grateful for, whether it be how precious a gift he is to me (which is something that is constant--I never feel differently, no matter how much he behaves or misbehaves) or for the opportunity that situation provides for us both to grow.   My grandma always told me there's always something to be thankful for, no matter what the situation.  She was right!  Sometimes you have to be creative or look extra hard for it, but it's there.

Anyway, this gratitude often diffuses the situation, gives me a chance to focus on what is truly important and choose my words more carefully.  In the end, my goal is not to "prove" to my son that I'm right about everything.  It's to help him learn appropriate behavior, integrity, and mature leadership skills (leadership for him, because he is a natural leader, but needs to learn to use those tendencies for good).  Part of teaching him is being a model for him, which means I need to admit/confess when I've been wrong or not handled a situation correctly.  I need to ask his forgiveness when I've given in to my temper.  Humility.

Yes, it's very, very humbling.  It takes thought.  Purpose.  Prayer!  I have a feeling I'll never "arrive." ;)  But the journey is good, too!


http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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