During the Christmas season each year, I feel drawn to read my first-ever blog post. The sentiment of it does not decrease with the years. In this entire year, due to the geographical distance between some of us, all my sisters, my parents and I were in the same place for only one afternoon. That afternoon remains a highlight in my memory. There will be no Christmas party for all of us together this year. But those of us who can gather, as well as those who will be away from us this year, have the true meaning of Christmas in our hearts, which is what brings true joy even in the longing to be together.
Saturday, 24 December 2005
I must admit to feeling the tiniest bit blue this Christmas Eve afternoon. Last night we had a Christmas party and all of my sisters and my parents were there. The five of us girls who grew up "Christmasing" in the same house together with our parents are rarely all together anymore. And today we're all back in our own homes, some of us hours away from one another. Late last night, I watched a taped Christmas episode of "The Wonder Years." In this particular episode, "Kevin Arnold" remembers the Christmas parties his parents had every year for the people in their neighborhood. At the end of the show, he pictures himself as a very young child, sent to bed while his parents continue to entertain their guests. He is enveloped in the darkness of night, but is able to see the "dancing light" under his door, as people walk back and forth. He can hear the general chattering of his parents' friends but he listens for the distinct sound of his father's laugh. And then he hears it and all is well. Every time I see that episode, I vividly remember what it was like to be in my parents' house, sent to bed because I was too little to stay up until all the "company" went home. But I could see the light "dancing" under my door and hear my parents' voices above all the others. Being the nostalgic person I am, those are wonderful memories. Bittersweet, I guess. Sometimes I long for us all to be together again, safe from harm, with two people older and wiser than I to make decisions for me and protect and guide me, yet I'm grateful for my present life just the way it is. Now it's my husband's and my turn to play those roles of protectors, providers and teachers. Sometimes that's scary. But I know that my husband and I have the same Guide that my parents had, and He is the same today and tomorrow as He was in my yesterdays. THAT's why I'm only a little bit blue today. Mostly I'm just enjoying this season of celebrating my Savior's birth!