A WONDERFUL Parenting Tool!

Parents of toddlers on up to older children still at home:  Do you desire to share Bible verses with your children when they are struggling with sin, but sometimes feel flustered trying to remember which verses are where in the Bible? I simply MUST tell you of this treasure I discovered over the summer.  It is literally a God-send and makes biblical instruction during times of discipline so much easier and more organized.  Instead of trying to remember which Bible verses are applicable to which infractions (tattling, pride, selfishness, jealousy, disobedience, stealing, etc.), someone has organized these for you and has devised a way to help you find just what you need at the moment you need it. 

 It's called The Child Training Bible.  All you need is this kit, some highlighters (I actually used Twistables colored pencils--don't bleed through the page), certain colors of Post-it flags (I ended up using regular Post-it notes I already had, and cut them down to size), and a Bible.  From the outside, it ends up looking something like this:

So, you'll want a separate Bible just for this purpose (must be a certain size, too--9" X 6"), because I think it would be awkward trying to flip through this Bible at church, Bible study, or other places.  But for the purpose this serves, the tabs are wonderful!

Here is a video telling you the details, made by the couple who created the product.  It will explain things so much better than I could write it.

 Can't view the video?  Try clicking here.

We have been using this for several weeks now, and it is so wonderful to just sit calmly down with LM, read Bible verses that pertain to his problem at the moment (and sometimes mine, too!), discuss the suggested questions which are provided, and pray together.  My husband and I have always believed the Bible is the place to go for raising a child, but sometimes in the moment the appropriate verses can just escape me.  My frustration in those times doesn't usually help the situation.  Now I can calmly and confidently pick up this special Bible, silently pray as we head toward the couch, and begin a conversation.  It really diffuses most potentially explosive conflicts, and focuses on the heart of the matter.

The only negatives are that it can be pricey if you need to buy all the different materials and it takes several hours to set it up.  But you can improvise on some of the materials like I did, and the time is MORE than worth it!

BE SURE TO CHECK THE WEBSITE TO MAKE SURE THE BIBLE YOU INTEND TO USE IS THE CORRECT SIZE!  There is a template you can print off to see if it fits in your Bible. The Bible I used was a tiny bit small, but I was able to trim the edges of the cards to fit.  This is risky, but it worked for me.

I love that I can use this Bible I've set up with LM until he leaves home (sniff, sniff) and then pass it down to him and his future wife and children if they choose to use it.  Who knows how many generations will be influenced by this simple yet profound tool? :)

The Thanksgiving Tree

I would love to meet Ann Voskamp.  Her influence on me this past year, through her book and ministry, has been such a huge blessing.  It was she who gave me the idea to start this Thanksgiving Tree this month to help my family focus on the many, many blessings for which we are grateful.  I had to share it with you because it's such a great idea, and it works!

Just go outside and gather a bunch of sticks, arrange them in a vase, then go here (takes a minute or two to load) and print and cut out the leaves.  Each leaf has a colorful side with a Bible gratitude verse and a blank side for you to write what you are thankful for.  We read the verse and our own written part together before hanging it on the "tree." 

I think it's meant to be one leaf per day, but I see no reason to limit it to that if we can think of more blessings in a day!  I just scattered the extra leaves around the bottom of the vase, and will print out more when needed.

The month is half over, but it's not too late to start this project for your home, whether your household contains you alone or lots of people or somewhere in the middle!  We all are blessed in so many ways, it's probably not too difficult to think of at least 2 blessings a day to "catch up" by the end of the month! :)

 

Songs from the Heart

My 10-year-old son loves, loves, loves to write songs and sing them over and over.  He has a yellow legal pad where he scribbles down new lyrics.  As he doesn't know how to write music notes at this point, the melodies change over time.

But does that bother God?  I mean, He is the one almost all of these songs are written for--songs of worship, songs of surrender, songs of loyalty--all to his God.

Earlier this evening, Little Mister and I had an argument.  Well, to be more precise, he was arguing with me, and I, being overly exhausted from an extended period of insomniac nights, was having a hard time thinking of the wisest ways to handle it.  I remained fairly calm, but was probably adding more to the drama than I would typically prefer with my strong-willed guy!

In any case, he was sent to bed early after I told him how much I love him no matter what.  He went obligingly, but I could tell he was still upset at his consequence--thinking it undeserved and all of that.

A little while later, I heard a noise behind me and turned around in time to see his quick-as-a-flash figure disappear around the corner.  On the table was his hand-held tape recorder (an old one--yeah, like from the 1980s--that Kevin gave him to use).  I've come to recognize that tape recorder to be like the notes I used to write to my parents when I had a lot to say but wanted to make sure I said it the way I meant it.  Oh, yes, my parents found oodles of notes on their pillows over the years, from their five girls. :)

So, I picked up the tape player and pressed the "play" button.  What filled my ears (and my heart!) was a made-up-as-he-went-along song about how I am the best mom and how he loves me even when we don't agree and how much I do for him and how I saved his life (not sure what that's all about! lol).

It was the sweetest thing.

More than anything, it encouraged me.  And, oh, how I've needed encouragement like this lately!  It brightened my heart to know that, even with the everyday struggles we still endure (to the point where I worry he will never "get it!"), I have proof in my hands that he IS learning and he IS getting it!  He's getting the big picture, that people can love each other even when they don't agree.  He understands forgiveness and reaching out to someone even if they've made you mad by sending you to bed early or whatever! ;)

That's big!  He's absorbing the big ideas first, I guess, and the day-to-day, moment by moment living out of his beliefs is progressing with time, surely. I can insist that LM obeys me, but I can't change anything about his heart, his motivation for obeying--which is what God cares about!  Which is what only God can change.  Robotic obedience does not glorify the Lord.

Oh, how I needed that reassurance that God is working.

Oh, how I needed that song from the heart! :)

The Art of Ignoring

I have been learning the art of ignoring lately.

I wish it had occurred to me before.

See, for the longest time I thought I should acknowledge pretty much every wayward action of my son and hold him accountable in some way.  Maybe that's easy to do when you have one child to focus on.  In any case, he does need to be held accountable for his actions, but I've found that ignoring certain things is actually quite effective!

Please don't get me wrong here.  I'm not endorsing leniency or laziness in parenting!  It's not like that at all.

It was actually my wise husband who said, after listening to my list of exasperating wastes of time our beloved son commits during the course of a day, said, "Try just ignoring those things that he's just doing to get attention."

Like, duh!!!!

I mean, really.  It seems so obvious now.  It's amazing what I can overlook when I get so wrapped up in the everyday trials.

So, now, if it's not a moral issue per se, I'm trying to just ignore.  Sometimes it's easier than others.  Today I gave an entire spelling test with my back toward him, pretending to be busy with other things, so that:  A) He wouldn't know I knew he was looking at his paper through a magnifying glass as he wrote his words (he absolutely was totally hoping I would notice and say something), and B) He wouldn't notice that I was trying so hard not to laugh at said magnifying glass.

He was wasting time.  It was harder for him to write while looking through a magnifying glass.  But I figure that eventually he will see how much time he is NOT able to play outside or other fun things after school because that fun time is eaten up by time-wasting activities, which I will not disclose on this public blog, but can probably be imagined by those who have or spend much time with kids. :)

Every so often, but ideally not during such an infraction, I will talk with him about time management and the benefits of not wasting time, just to make sure he's thinking about it while I "blissfully" ignore.

It's kind of mercy and natural consequences mixed together.  I think. :)

The Kindness of a Child--It's a big Deal!

My nine-year-old son has gotten in the habit of saying, "Hi, how are you?" to the cashiers in the stores we shop in.  You wouldn't think that would be too big of a deal, right?

Actually, as it turns out, it IS a big deal!  For some, anyway.

It started out as a simple act of obedience.  When he was younger, Little Mister might mumble a hi in answer to an adult's hello, if he could be bothered to do even that in all his busyness.

We told him, though, that he needed to show respect to adults or anyone else who took the time to greet him.  We instructed him to make eye contact and acknowledge the greeting.  No amount of shyness (which is not him, usually) or busyness (which is totally him) is an excuse for rudeness or lack of respect, especially toward one's elders!

It took him awhile to make this a habit, and I think he still forgets once in awhile, but overall he has done a great job showing respect in this way.

Then, several months ago, he took it to the next level on his own.  Now he often initiates greeting store personnel and fellow customers enthusiastically and genuinely.  I don't know what it is about stores, except that maybe he now feels too old to straighten the cold cuts and cheeses in the refrigerated sections and the jars of pasta sauces on the shelves, so he has more time to look around him and notice people.

It's funny how people often do a double-take when they hear his greetings.  Ah, wouldn't it be sweet if our society still took the time to greet each other, strangers included?  Wouldn't we be a bit happier as a people if it wasn't a surprise when a child noticed and acknowledged us?

Sometimes the cashiers just gush over Little Mister when he asks them how they are.  Last night at Martin's, the beaming woman who rang up our groceries said to him something like, "It made me feel so special that you would speak to me like that!"

Wow.  If it is sooo special that a boy said, "Hi, how are you," how must she often be treated as she goes about serving people throughout her work day?  Oh, yes, it's her job and she gets paid to do it and all of that, but is that really any reason to ignore her or treat her badly?

I remember a particular lady in Walmart at Christmas time, who was so very touched by Little Mister's simple kindness, I thought she was going to start crying or something!  If a hello and a how are you? meant that much to her . . . that poor, poor woman!  Yet she was so blessed in that moment!

With everything my Little Mister is "working on" in his young life, I'm inspired by his desire to start reaching out and his tenacity to make it a habit overall.  I've always tried to be friendly with the employees of places I frequent, but the sound of my son's simple kindness sometimes reminds me to lift my eyes from my Dave Ramsey wallet and focus on this one whom God has allowed me to cross paths with, even for just the short time it takes to ring up and bag groceries.  That person matters greatly to God, right then and there, as he/she quietly does his/her job.

Thanks for the reminder, Little Mister. :)

Mama Needs to Walk Away from the Poison!

Oh, what a morning in this homeschooling home!  I don't wish to go into too much detail, but let's just say much time was being wasted, and not by me.

Oh, my patience wears so thin sometimes!

Surely if I could just scream, all would be well.  Okay, maybe not.

The truth is, I've done enough damage.  As I look back on the very difficult morning (actually, the afternoon was good for awhile and then went south again), I see how I contributed to the problem by letting my guard down and allowing myself to forget gentleness.

Gentleness in words.

Gentleness in tone.

Gentleness in spirit.

I didn't really yell or say anything bad.  But when will I learn (or consistently put into practice) that the subtleties can be just as poison as the in-your-face stuff?

The longer I know, teach, and love this precious child of mine, the more I see that I have the potential to change the direction of our course with a simple unexpected cheerful word.  Sometimes I have had the presence of mind to, in the middle of a tense "conversation," say, "I love you so much, [Little Mister]!"  Or to say, "I think we both need a hug," and throw my arms around him. Even something as simply complimentary as "Cool shirt," or, "I like your hair today," or as ridiculous as, "Nice hole in your sock--how many toes can you fit through there?" can change things around in a second. No, he doesn't get away with whatever he's trying to pull, but he responds (usually) in a more positive way, and the bad mood is diffused.  For a few minutes anyway. :)

Oh, that I would grow up and not feel so often like I have to "win" the debate every time in order to be respectable.  I mean, as the parent, my say must be the final say.  But there are different roads to that end, and I so don't want to be the poison that keeps us on the wrong road longer than necessary.

A reminder to myself:  A kind, loving, cheerful or funny remark in the middle of an escalating "conversation" can potentially change the course of things for the better!




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Desperate!!

Oh, my goodness, I sometimes have become SO very upset with my precious son over the years.  I mean, really, really upset!

Not that I haven't had reasons for concern, don't you know.  Certainly it is in my job description to help my charge learn to avoid the wayward ways and coach him along to the paths of righteousness.  Now, as I've shared before, I'm working on doing so in gentle ways.

But sometimes I haven't felt gentle.  I have felt frantic!  Desperate!

It finally hit me the other day what my problem is.  I'm trying to be the Holy Spirit to my child.  Time is flying by and I have felt like it's totally up to my husband and me to make sure Little Mister is the way he's supposed to be by the time he leaves our nest.  Not that I haven't given credit to the Lord for His work so far, but I have added a burden to myself that God never intended. 

It's not so much that my approach has been all wrong (though there's always room to learn and improve!), but the desperation I feel when Little Mister doesn't "get it" in my timing is not from God, and it often leads me to feel irritated or annoyed or some kind of upset which, though I try not to show it, I'm sure shows at times. 

The truth is that there is no need to feel desperation.  My job is to be faithful, to do the time-consuming, sometimes heart-wrenching stuff that God has asked me to do--supporting him in prayer constantly, teaching him to study God's Word, trying to be a good model for him, remaining consistent, remembering to praise the good, not making bad behavior worth it (allowing him to suffer consequences), balancing accountability and mercy (oooo, that's so hard to know how to do sometimes!) . . . the list of Mom's Jobs goes on of course . . .

But the results are out of my hands.  They are between LM and his God.  No room for desperation there.  I simply (?) need to let go of that and trust . . .

A Cry in the Kitchen

I'm so overwhelmed these days.

Not so much by activities and things to do, though there are plenty of those.  No, it's more of a change of heart God is working on in me.

And it's harder to go through than being too busy.  Over-committing myself was a breeze compared to this sometimes heart-wrenching pain.

I'm beginning to see why God had my family slow down, at least for this school year.  Going here, there and everywhere leaves little time to see what's really there--the matters of the heart that need makeovers.  The habits that need to be gutted out and replaced, from the foundation up.

I'm speaking for no one but me.

Well, yeah, my boy is growing and changing, too.  He walks the right road more often, but I allow the minutes and hours he spends on the wrong path to overshadow the progress.  This only shines a huge spotlight on my own shortcomings.

Then there are all the questions roaming around in my mind.  Will I ever be good enough?  Will my mistakes scar my precious son?  Will I ever feel wise?  Will I ever learn to be truly grateful?  What's the balance of grace and accountability?  When will I understand what it is to rest in the righteousness of God?

Who am I really?

The tears feel as hot streaming down my face as the dishwashing water pouring over my hands.  Cleansing tears.  Cleansing water.  Getting the dishes clean is so much easier to figure out than my own heart.  I've been washing dishes for many years.  Caring what's in my heart is newer to me than that.

Precious son notices my unusual emotional breakdown and asks if he has caused it.  No, dear one.  Don't ever forget I have my own issues I'm working out with the Lord.  Pray for me, sweets, that I'll be a good example to you.

I know the answers will come.  I trust that.  I'm not always very patient, though.  I don't always like to go through the process.  I want to be perfect.  Now.

I want to be something I can never be.

On my own.

Thankfully, Jesus is perfect for me.

PS  For a somewhat more lighthearted sequel to this lil blog post, click here. :)

Gentle Mothering, Part 4

Three full weeks of intentionally practicing gentleness as a mother have taught me a great deal!  I've written about some of those things in my previous Gentle Mothering posts:  Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

Let me tell you what I have observed, something that took awhile to "sink in" that it was happening.

When I am diligent to deal gently with my son, he will often go above and beyond my expectations in response!  Now, sometimes it takes everything in me to remain calm, and other times I still choose to go the wrong direction.  And sometimes when I'm doing everything "right," he still chooses to be difficult.  But there are times when he's being obstinate, but I consistently respond with gentleness, and he will suddenly and genuinely switch his attitude and do more than I asked him to or put more effort into something than I would have expected him to.  At times he'll be extra cheerful and extra compliant when I'm being extra gentle.  It's like he's going the extra mile just because he feels like it.

Can gentleness really inspire such motivation:?

Apparently so!  I've witnessed it!  It's not me, but God's Spirit working in me and in my Little Mister.  I'm so grateful! :)

We're both changing in ways that we need to, but it started with me, the adult (!!), recognizing my own shortcomings and dealing with those as much as (or more than) his. 

Click here if you'd like to read about and/or join the Gentleness Challenge!  I highly recommend it. :)

http://womenlivingwell.org/

Go to Bed, Mom!

 Something struck me this morning during our prayer time after Bible study. Somebody was praying for someone who is about to have surgery, and the pray-er said something like, "Give the doctors and other involved staff plenty of rest before the surgery."  Presumably, she was praying for this rest so the staff can be wide awake and alert during the surgery, increasing the chances that all will be successful!

Isn't everyone's job performance increased, generally speaking, with plenty of rest and sleep?  Isn't it harder to accomplish things when we're tired?

Maybe I'm the only mom who hadn't put two and two together, but it suddenly hit me--since my job as a wife and mom is just as legitimate and important as higher-paying jobs, doesn't it make sense that a proper amount of sleep would help me be better at it?  Especially with my new quest to be a gentler mom, good sleep can only help!

My problem is that I don't like to give in to the end of another day.  Time is flying so fast, and, at the end of many days, I just want to make it last a little longer.  I know once I fall asleep, this great day is gone.  Where are all these days going, anyway?  And why are they in such a hurry?

But are my days as great as they could be if I'm not as awake and alert as I could be?  Am I actually wasting time by not sleeping enough?  Am I letting some of the gentleness I want to bestow on my family slip through my fingers with that neglected sleep?

I don't know!  It's worth investigating, though!

Now, some nights I simply can't get to sleep even when I want to.  Melatonin works wonders for me.  Usually.  (I wrote about this all-natural sleep aid here, if you're interested).  When I can't sleep and it's not my fault, that's a different thing.

But, when I could be sleeping and I'm instead trying to make a day last longer than it should, I'm really not keeping my priorities in line.

I should add that I'm not suggesting I or anyone else should sleep too much, either!  Staying in bed to escape life isn't healthy or productive.

As with just about everything, balance is the key! :)

Gentle Mothering, Part 3

For two full weeks now, I've been paying extra special attention to being more gentle in my interactions with my son.  This was prompted by the Gentleness Challenge for January at the Women Living Well site.

It has been awesome, and humbling, to recognize some of my less-than-gentle approaches and work on replacing them with more God-honoring ways.  I certainly haven't "arrived," but it's good to be aware and working on it.  (My own blog post for week 1 is here, and week 2 is here)

For reasons I will reveal more in depth in the near future, I have been focusing a lot on giving thanks for whatever I can think of to be thankful for.  I have found that this exercise actually helps in my attempts to be a more purposely gentle mom.  When I find myself feeling frustrated with my son's behavior, I stop myself and think of something I can be grateful for, whether it be how precious a gift he is to me (which is something that is constant--I never feel differently, no matter how much he behaves or misbehaves) or for the opportunity that situation provides for us both to grow.   My grandma always told me there's always something to be thankful for, no matter what the situation.  She was right!  Sometimes you have to be creative or look extra hard for it, but it's there.

Anyway, this gratitude often diffuses the situation, gives me a chance to focus on what is truly important and choose my words more carefully.  In the end, my goal is not to "prove" to my son that I'm right about everything.  It's to help him learn appropriate behavior, integrity, and mature leadership skills (leadership for him, because he is a natural leader, but needs to learn to use those tendencies for good).  Part of teaching him is being a model for him, which means I need to admit/confess when I've been wrong or not handled a situation correctly.  I need to ask his forgiveness when I've given in to my temper.  Humility.

Yes, it's very, very humbling.  It takes thought.  Purpose.  Prayer!  I have a feeling I'll never "arrive." ;)  But the journey is good, too!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

Gentle Mothering, Part 2

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."  Proverbs 15:1

It's so true!  Those harsh words, whether they are directed from parent to child, spouse to spouse, friend to friend, etc., are counterproductive.  They only make a bad situation worse. 

Also, it's disrespectful and just plain wrong to speak that way.

I'm disrespectful and just plain wrong sometimes!

I'm not much of a yeller, but I'm an expert at making my exasperation known.  During this past week of the Gentleness Challenge, I've been even more acutely aware of how easy it is to slip into that zone!  The body language, tone of voice, choice of words . . . oh, yeah!  I've got it down pat.

It's a very selfish way of dealing with . . . . anyone!

And, anyway, how inspiring is it to be hollered at?  Yelling or speaking in an exasperated voice to a child will only succeed in causing a child to obey out of fear or annoyance, if he obeys at all.  Is this the result we are after?  We'd likely rather be helping our children want to be obedient because it's the right thing to do.  This is how they learn integrity.  If they're only trained to do the right thing because they don't want the negative consequences of disobedience, they only learn to "perform" when it suits them, rather than doing the right thing even when no one will know the difference--true integrity.

And if we yell or manipulate, they learn to yell and/or manipulate.  We are their models.  Is this a cycle we want to perpetuate?

I'm not implying that we should allow our children to get away with doing wrong.  But, just as God deals with us, there is a place for grace and mercy.

Gentle words.  Gentle gestures.  Gentle tone of voice.  Whispering when one feels like yelling (I read that here yesterday).  Yes, these will make more of a difference, I believe.  Lord, help me live like I believe!

http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/01/week-2-of-the-gentleness-challenge/

Christmas Past

The empty space where the Christmas tree stood causes an emptiness in my heart for a day (or at least a few hours) after the festive decor comes down.  It's a melancholy task to take each ornament from the tree and lovingly wrap it to be stored for the next eleven months.  Each one holds a special memory of a person or event or former home or trip taken.  The hand-made ones by my Little Mister, with his name written in his own handwriting at different stages of his young life, are the ones that choke me up the most.  Time is flying.  I believed it would, but didn't understand the depth of emotion which goes along with it until experiencing it for myself.

Time is flying.

May I redeem the time!

Gentle Mothering

Gentleness . . . it goes a long way in the role of "Mom."

But I feel like I too often lack it.

I'm not a particularly angry or hot-tempered person in general, but some days I feel like I'm living the dual life of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  The plain truth is that there are times I would be so embarrassed at what someone would find if they entered my home unexpectedly.  I've actually surprised myself at the volume my voice can achieve when left to its own devices!

It's not just volume, though.  I have said, in the calmest of voices, such poisonous things as, "Why don't you get it?  We've been over this a million times!" or "I give up!  I'm done!" (as she huffs out of the room like a three-year-old having a tantrum).

Now, the second it dawns on me what an idiot I'm being, I begin the humbling process of apologizing to my Lord for being such a poor example of one of His followers (ever grateful for the mercy and grace he daily, hourly, minute-ly extends to me) and making things right with my precious son.  My heart always feels so broken and bruised after an episode like that.  I can't imagine how his must feel, not having the maturity of adulthood to filter my careless words through. 

Yes, I'm glad I know enough to ask forgiveness and clear the air, but, oh, how much better things would be if I would just consistently practice gentleness and have no need for trying to make up for things later.  Yes, apologies mean a lot and can help heal broken hearts, but words uttered cannot be returned, cannot be taken back as though they had not done their marring job.  Their deed has been accomplished and cannot ever be completely undone.

That is my regret.

I can't expect my precious son to not close off a little more of his heart from me each time I speak harshly to him.  I can't expect him to not learn from my example and speak to others with such a lack of mercy and grace.  I can't expect him even to get my point (or want to) when I present it in such a way.

Our household is pretty peaceful.  Yelling really isn't what some would consider a problem around here.  But every time I succumb to this ineffective method of communication (or to sarcasm or other unsavory ways of making my point), I feel it strongly in my heart--this is NOT right!  Even a tone of voice that expresses my lack of patience is really not necessary or productive.

I'm not talking about letting Little Mister get away with doing wrong.  I'm talking about me being more intentional about holding him accountable with gentleness.  It's so important!

"Let your gentleness be evident to all . . . "  Philippians 4:5

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Colossians 3:12

That's why I was so pleased to see the "Gentleness Challenge" on Women Living Well's website.  It's for the month of January, and I definitely signed up.  It is encouraging, too, to see how many other moms have joined--it makes me feel less alone as I strive to be a more gentle mom.

http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/01/introducing-the-gentleness-challenge/#comment-24325

If this is something you would like to improve upon as a mom, or in any other roles in your life, check out Courtney's first blog of the month, including a video where she and a friend talk about the subject.  I found this post and video to be convicting and encouraging! :)

Let me know if you join the challenge, too!  When I say, "join," I just mean commit to doing it.  There are no forms to fill out or anything, though Courtney would appreciate a comment if you care to take on the challenge! :)

Of Rob Bell and Bridezillas

Yesterday, I discovered two weird creations.  One was a book and one was a TV show. 

Early in the day, I began reading Rob Bell's book, Love Wins, and late at night I watched my first-ever episode of Bridezillas on Netflix, both of which prove two things:  I'm desperately behind the times, and our world is not improving with the passage of time.

Let's start with Mr. Bell.  I had heard things about this book, but wanted to read it for myself and form my own opinions.  I've seen a lot of his DVDs and, though they weren't particularly deep, I thoroughly enjoyed his creativity and his thought-provoking messages.  Plus, on a more shallow note, he always wears cool glasses. :)

Now, I do need to finish the book in order to see where he ends up, but my impression from the preface and first two chapters is that he has apparently allowed his creativity to go to his head and is now creating his own theology.  Wow!  I wasn't prepared for this particular guy to be so brazen in his twisting of scripture and mocking it at times while he's at it! 

The most ironic part I've read so far is when he quotes the scripture from Matthew 18, where Jesus said that people who lead children astray should have a giant stone tied around their neck before being thrown into the sea.  This verse often comes to my mind when I'm conversing with people who twist scripture, or pick and choose their few favorites and ignore the rest, because they are playing a very dangerous game if they are trying to convince others to think the same way, and I feel so very sad for them.  Yet, Mr. Bell seems to be implying that those who read and apply the Bible as a whole, precept upon precept, and teach their children to do so as well, are the ones in the wrong.

As always, his creativity comes shining through.  He's a talented and entertaining writer.  It's disturbing to think, though, how many people could be swayed by his ingenuity and not stop to recognize he's making things up as he goes along! 

If my opinion changes by the time I finish the book, I'll be sure to let you know. ;)  So far I feel sorry for him and anyone else he has led astray.  I have little hope that the rest of the book will redeem the erroneous, illogical beginning, but the optimistic part of me can't help but hold my breath and hope for the best . . .

So, the rest of my day was pretty normal, until later in the evening when I finally sat down to chill a bit before bed.  It was Kevin's late night at work, so I decided to watch a show I had heard of, but never seen, called Bridezillas.  Once again, I realize I'm probably the only woman in America who hadn't seen it, but I've never been bothered by that. lol 

Anyway, you know how they show a little preview at the beginning of the show?  I was only half paying attention as I let the dog out and then sat down and started grading Little Mister's school work from the day.  Suddenly, shrill screaming caught my attention and I looked up to see a "lady" (I use that term rather loosely) in pretty wedding attire screaming, over and over, just sitting there screaming.  I wondered what horrible thing was happening.  As the actual show unfolded, this girl screamed at everything--and everyone!  She was out of control.  And the other featured bride didn't scream, but yelled.  She yelled and cursed at every turn.

Really?  I mean, do these people call up Bridezillas and say, "Yeah, I'm a big jerk to everyone and I happen to be getting married, too.  Can I be on your show?"  Or maybe more likely it's the friends and family of these gals, who have enabled their atrocious behavior for all these years and are too afraid to practice tough love, who passively-aggressively call the show and tip off the producers on where the "best" Bridezillas are to be found! ;)

It was sickening.  My poor, tender-hearted spirit was assaulted! lol  Now, don't get me wrong.  I can be mean sometimes.  Just ask my husband and son.  Everyone can be and is mean sometimes.  I'm constantly asking the Lord to help me control my mouth, because I know how awful I can be!  But to flaunt it like that on TV, to make it almost a source of pride.  Really?  This is what we call entertainment?  Why?

I'm not seeing myself as standing on a TV soapbox here.  In fact, part of me totally wants to watch the second episode because I know the screamer's mom bought a white dress to wear to the wedding and I'm dying to see what happens.  That makes me part of the problem, doesn't it?

At least as far as what's available to watch on TV.

But I guess I'll dare to say I'm not part of the problem when it comes to how accepting the world is of children being raised to be so disrespectful and audacious.  Not that I'm a perfect parent by any means, but I'm raising my son to be a gentleman.  He doesn't always choose that now.  Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't (but it's dealt with when he doesn't). And he may go off in his own direction someday, as God always allows us to choose between right and wrong (and the blessings/consequences thereof), but if that happens, it won't be because he doesn't know right from wrong.  It won't be because he was taught that he is the only one who matters.

These two weird things from yesterday reminded me how the time I spent with Little Mister in-between them was vitally important.  Did I redeem the time? 

We as parents need to be nothing less than vigilant in teaching our kids what is true and right so they can recognize lies and deception, even when it comes from the most unlikely sources, like Rob Bell was to me.  I loved it yesterday when Little Mister and I were watching part of a History Channel show on ancient Egypt (because we have been studying it), and the narrator driveled on at one point about how such-and-such had happened millions of years before man walked upright, I heard Little Mister say to the poor, misled man, "Man has stood upright since the beginning, which was not millions of years ago, but 6-7,000.  Get it right!"  I love that he has that much confidence, though, of course, he would only be allowed to talk to a TV with that "Get it right" comment at the end. ;)

Confidence in the right things and in the right ways is awesome.  But the other part of parenthood that was driven home again to me as I watched Bridezillas (totally aptly named) was the importance of teaching our kids respect and regard for others.  In general, kids aren't born with that skill or the natural inclination to care for others as much as, let alone more than, themselves.  People who have been raised to think they are the center of the universe don't end up happy or fulfilled, and they certainly don't bring happiness or fulfillment to those around them!  Kids need to be taught how to speak and behave appropriately.  They'll make plenty of mistakes along the way, as will we parents.

But the outcome of families who try have GOT to be better than Love Wins (great title applied to the wrong message) or Bridezillas!!