Haven of Home: Decorating

This year's tree

At Christmas time several years ago, I gave in to the "everything has to match" mentality and decorated my tree with matchy-matchy stuff.  It looked pretty, and there's nothing at all wrong with having an elegant tree for Christmas if that's what you like, but . . . it wasn't me.  It wasn't us.

It made me sad to leave all of our memory-filled ornaments packed away.  In fact, if I remember right, I ended up taking them out and putting them up with the matchy-matchy stuff anyway! lol

Who says everything has to match?

Yes, I see that the ribbon has been pulled unevenly, probably by the dog's tail; and that smallish hands clumped ornaments together, leaving big spaces; but who cares?  This look is unique to this year--next year everything will be in a different order.  We will have fun together making it into whatever it turns out to be! lol

Probably my fave ornament

I remember the sweet old gentleman who made this from a gourd and gave it to me when I was a little girl. :)

Again, there's nothing wrong with everything on the tree being color-coordinated.  It would drive some people crazy to have mismatched memories rather than color-coordinating perfection as much as it drove me nuts to not wear my heart on my tree, so to speak.  It's all good!

Top of a bookshelf--weird angle. lol

This is week #4 of the Making Your Home a Haven fall challenge over at Women Living Well.  Decorating, of course, is a perfect focus for this time of year.  I'm not a decorator.  But I know what I like and what makes our family feel at home.

Above a mirror in the living room

You don't have to have a lot of money to "decorate" your home with warmth, whether we're talking Christmas decor or just home decor in general.  Use what you have in creative ways.  If you have more than you need, share with someone who has little.  If you're one who has little, there are lots of websites on how to do a lot with a little.  Every small touch you add makes your home warmer and reflects a little more of you. :)  None of us needs to feel pressured to decorate like someone else nor feel badly if our homes don't look like the pages of a magazine.  That idea is very shallow and a lie. The most important "decorating" comes from loving and welcoming hearts and warm smiles. :)

 

Making Your Home a Haven: Cooking

Ya gotta love Courtney over at Women Living Well and her ideas for the Making Your Home a Haven fall challenge.  This is my second year participating and it's just so meaningful.  The first week was focusing on lighting a candle every day; last week we added quiet (and sometimes not-so-quiet) music; and this week, the third part of the challenge is cooking!

Courtney has a great post about cooking and, if you have kids, including them in food preparation.  Check it out!  It's the perfect week for this part of the challenge. :)

As for me, I'm going to link you to some of my family's favorite Thanksgiving recipes--easy and tasty!

Here's a cranberry-ish dish that even children love.  As a matter of fact, children probably love it more than the adults do, but most adults like it as well. ;)  Cranberry-Raspberry Salad

An alternative to pumpkin pie, this one has won over even kids who don't particularly like the pumpkin in pie.  Pumpkin Pie Cake

Here's a fancy, but easy, way to fix corn for any dinner.  Triple Corn Casserole

This one is a little Thanksgiving treat that you'll want the kids to help with!  Pilgrim Hat Cookies

Happy Cooking!  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! :)

The Thanksgiving Tree

I would love to meet Ann Voskamp.  Her influence on me this past year, through her book and ministry, has been such a huge blessing.  It was she who gave me the idea to start this Thanksgiving Tree this month to help my family focus on the many, many blessings for which we are grateful.  I had to share it with you because it's such a great idea, and it works!

Just go outside and gather a bunch of sticks, arrange them in a vase, then go here (takes a minute or two to load) and print and cut out the leaves.  Each leaf has a colorful side with a Bible gratitude verse and a blank side for you to write what you are thankful for.  We read the verse and our own written part together before hanging it on the "tree." 

I think it's meant to be one leaf per day, but I see no reason to limit it to that if we can think of more blessings in a day!  I just scattered the extra leaves around the bottom of the vase, and will print out more when needed.

The month is half over, but it's not too late to start this project for your home, whether your household contains you alone or lots of people or somewhere in the middle!  We all are blessed in so many ways, it's probably not too difficult to think of at least 2 blessings a day to "catch up" by the end of the month! :)

 

Desperate!!

Oh, my goodness, I sometimes have become SO very upset with my precious son over the years.  I mean, really, really upset!

Not that I haven't had reasons for concern, don't you know.  Certainly it is in my job description to help my charge learn to avoid the wayward ways and coach him along to the paths of righteousness.  Now, as I've shared before, I'm working on doing so in gentle ways.

But sometimes I haven't felt gentle.  I have felt frantic!  Desperate!

It finally hit me the other day what my problem is.  I'm trying to be the Holy Spirit to my child.  Time is flying by and I have felt like it's totally up to my husband and me to make sure Little Mister is the way he's supposed to be by the time he leaves our nest.  Not that I haven't given credit to the Lord for His work so far, but I have added a burden to myself that God never intended. 

It's not so much that my approach has been all wrong (though there's always room to learn and improve!), but the desperation I feel when Little Mister doesn't "get it" in my timing is not from God, and it often leads me to feel irritated or annoyed or some kind of upset which, though I try not to show it, I'm sure shows at times. 

The truth is that there is no need to feel desperation.  My job is to be faithful, to do the time-consuming, sometimes heart-wrenching stuff that God has asked me to do--supporting him in prayer constantly, teaching him to study God's Word, trying to be a good model for him, remaining consistent, remembering to praise the good, not making bad behavior worth it (allowing him to suffer consequences), balancing accountability and mercy (oooo, that's so hard to know how to do sometimes!) . . . the list of Mom's Jobs goes on of course . . .

But the results are out of my hands.  They are between LM and his God.  No room for desperation there.  I simply (?) need to let go of that and trust . . .

"Daddy's Home!"

"There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day, knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps."  Ronald Regan

I saw that quote on Facebook yesterday, and it took me back to my childhood.  Even into my teenage years, my father coming home from work was always a happily anticipated part of the day.  Eating dinner together as a family was a high priority in our household, and it was a secure feeling, knowing that we were all safe under the same roof for at least that hour or so each day.  It was something I could depend on most days.

When my sisters and I were little, we would hide on him when we heard the closing of his car door.  It was a delightful suspense that made me nervous every time as he pretended to search high and low for his girls.  I knew that sometimes he would be the one to say, "Boo!" to me, and that it would startle the daylights out of me, despite the fact that I was anticipating it.

One time, I read this book where the daughter left her shoes pointed in the direction of her hiding place, so when her dad arrived home, he had a clue as to where she was.  I thought that sounded cool, so I did the same thing that very day, placing my shoes where he wouldn't be able to miss them.  Imagine my disappointment when Dad stepped over my shoes and started looking in another part of the house!  I guess I sort of forgot that he wasn't in on the rules of the game and would just think I hadn't put my shoes away. :)

These days, it's Little Mister who exclaims excitedly when he hears that car door slam.  Sometimes he hides on his daddy, but most times he just greets him enthusiastically at the door.  I still love that time of day, though the roles have shifted, and now I'm welcoming my husband home (I only hide on him if Little Mister asks me to--lol) and enjoying watching my son delight in his daddy's homecoming.


We all make the effort to welcome non-residents of our home when they visit.  Why not welcome the other members of our household when they arrive home?  Whether it be family members or roommates, everyone likes to feel welcome in their own home.  When someone comes home and we are already there, why not stop the task at hand (or mute the TV! ha ha) long enough to smile and greet that person and find out how they are.  "How was your day?" is an often-asked question in our home.  It's an invitation to share the highs and the lows of each other's day and offer encouragement or laugh together.

If you live alone, prepare your home to welcome you at the end of the day!  Before you leave, make sure some favorite music is ready in the CD player.  Get something yummy-smelling going in the crockpot.  Plan who you can call or visit with later on, if you think you'll want some company.  

"Welcome" is such a lovely word. :)

Haven of Home: Controlling Clutter

So far for the Making Your Home a Haven challenge, I've been lighting a candle every day (as a reminder to pray for peace in our home) for two weeks straight, and playing music every day for one week.  It's been great to break out some of the old CDs or find favorites on Grooveshark or Youtube.  Little Mister has definitely been into it, and it's just one more source of joy and fun to add to ordinary days.

Now it's week number three and the focus is clutter.  The first part of the challenge is to focus on a few areas of your home that stress you out.  Buy something (a basket or storage container or whatever) to put stuff in.

I like this one (almost) as much as the first two.  I can't stand clutter!  But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist in my home.  The computer desk I'm sitting at right now is a perfect example.  It's not huge piles of stuff, but too many papers, some store ads I want to go through and coupon inserts that need to be filed.  Oh, and the notes I have written to myself about things I need to remember to run by Kevin.  I have baskets on the shelves by the computer, which look fine, but they desperately need to be gone through and junk purged.

I started working on this area yesterday, but didn't get far.  I have a trash bag started, though!

Then there's my table in the school room.  I love the table itself, an antique dropleaf that was once my grandma's.  As each day goes on, though, my books and record keeping, along with some of Little Mister's books and papers that need to be graded, pile up.  Sometimes I clear it off at the end of the day and, *a-hem!* sometimes not so much.  There are days that seem sooo long, and I think, "I'm just going to be taking this all out tomorrow!"  Thus there are evenings (probably too many) when I just ignore it and move on to something else.  I'm determined to be better about that!

As far as mail and things like that, it just really used to get out of hand.  There's one spot on a kitchen counter where it would all accumulate.  I've tried to adopt the "touch it once and only once" rule.  I try to file the bills or statements right away, throw away the junk mail immediately--whatever needs to be done to each paper or periodical that makes its way into our house.  There are still things I'm indecisive about, though, or that aren't quite trash but don't fit into another category.  I have a basket sitting on the counter where "the pile" used to accumulate.  I can go through it every couple days without that spot looking cluttered.

The second part of this week's challenge is to get rid of the clutter in our spiritual lives.  A big part of this is recognizing in ourselves and confessing to the Lord any sin in our lives.  Also, are we being good stewards of our time?  What are we filling our minds and hearts with?  Are there things we should be doing that we aren't?  Lots of pondering going on in my mind and heart this week!

Now, I'm off to clear that school room table . . .

The Haven of Home: Music Speaks

This is the second week of the "Making Your Home a Haven" challenge.  I have genuinely enjoyed it so far!  I've remembered to light a candle every day and have been mostly diligent about praying for peace in our home whenever the flame catches my eye during the day.  Of course, there's nothing magical or extra potent about a prayer accompanied by a lit candle.  The candle is meant to be a reminder to pray.  It's the prayers themselves and God's power that are making a difference in the level of peace in our home.  The candle has been reminding me to pray but, also, to think before I speak and to watch my tone of voice.

I love this week's challenge, too!  In addition to the candle, we are challenged to play quiet music throughout the day.  We love music--love, love, love it!  Unfortunately, though, we often don't have it playing while we're at home.  I'm always so busy with this or that, that I just plumb forget to play a CD or play the piano (I do dust it fairly regularly, but rarely does it even occur to me to sit down and play a song or two!).  I do hum or sing quietly a lot, and Little Mister often sings spontaneous praise songs to the Lord (usually not so quietly!).  But the planned-out stuff has been lacking.

We have eclectic tastes in music, so there's lots to choose from.  My goal has been/is to be more intentional about having music playing during times when we're not doing things that need more focus, like reading or school work.  During chores and housework is a great time to have music playing!   Getting ready in the morning, cooking dinner in the evening . . . there really are plenty of appropriate times to have music playing. And during those times, we prefer not to necessarily have the volume level on low. ;)

So far we have listened to lots of Chris Tomlin, Jeff Johnson and some of Little Mister's kids worship CDs.  Who knows what we'll listen to after our mellow mood subsides! :)  We have quite a few CDs, but if you're not a collector of CDs, you can always go to grooveshark.com and set yourself up with a playlist.  Very convenient!  Don't be afraid to do silly dances with your kids or dance cheek to cheek with your husband! :)

Knight Little Mister :)

My favorite music in the world is what I mentioned above, when Little Mister is making something with Legos or occupied with something else by himself, he sometimes sings to the Lord, making up the songs as he goes.  It's during those times that I have a window to his heart.  I get to hear the Bible truths that have made their way into his mind and heart and that mean something to him as he pours out that precious heart of his to the Lord.  At times I'm startled by his insight, by the things he understands about God, about what God has done for him and about where he would be without the Lord in his life.  So many of these concepts did not become real to me until I was an adult!

All in all, this purposeful endeavor to haven-ize our home in the ways that matter most has been rewarding!  I would recommend this challenge to everyone.

2012 Update:
"Little Mister" has had an online name change to "Lego Meister," because he's 10 now and "Little Mister," while dear to my heart, just didn't seem to fit anymore.  

Since this fall challenge is happening later this year, we have been listening to lots of Christmas music, quiet and not-so-quiet. :)  It's so joyful, and certain songs help us become centered on Whose birthday we are preparing to celebrate!

http://womenlivingwell.org/2011/09/making-your-home-a-haven-fall-challenge-is-back/

The Haven of Home: Light a Candle!

I was inspired to join the "Making Your Home a Haven--31 Day Fall Challenge" on Women Living Well.  A haven is exactly what a home should be, and who doesn't want that?

But do you have to live in a certain type of dwelling, with everything decorated exactly the way you want it, for your home to be a haven?  Must you have a spouse, and even children, for your dwelling to be a home?  Do you have to be there all day for it to be home or a haven?

Or, let me put it this way:  Could a dwelling which looks like the pages of a magazine possibly not feel like a haven?  Might there be a husband and wife and several children who don't feel "at home" with one another?

Let's face it.  There are always changes we want to make to the appearance of our homes.  Even when we like what we've done, the contentment wears off as we think of other ideas or see what someone else has done.  Or people who haven't yet found their true love might envy those who have, or might put off creating a true home out of their space until they have a spouse.

As long as we are off the streets and safe from the elements, the sense of home and haven have little to do with whether or not we have our dream house.  A haven can be achieved no matter where we hang our hats or whether or not we have someone with whom to share that space.

It's an attitude!

It's saying, "No matter where I live, I will do my best to live at peace there.  I will do what I can afford to make it look the best it can, and, more importantly, I will treat every person who walks through the door, whether or not he/she lives with me, with respect and honor.  I will dare to put others' needs and wishes above my own and serve others whole-heartedly!"

I personally don't physically live in my dream house.  The three of us live in a fairly tiny house on a lovely acre of land.  With just the three of us and our big lug of a dog, Theo, we aren't the slightest bit cramped or lacking privacy when we need it, yet there are still many changes I want to make to our house, inside and out.  I don't actually know, though, what my dream house would be like because, although I'm not living in my dream house, I am living my dream, and I don't have much time to think about what other options are out there.

My dream is to be a wife and mom, to cultivate a close-knit family similar to the one I grew up in, to make a difference in the lives of others in whatever ways God wants to use me.  I'm living it!  Not perfectly, but I'm showing up each day (or most days) to give it a try.

Would my little family say our home is a haven every minute of every day?  That's simple:  NO!  Sometimes we bicker over dumb things or speak unkindly.  We have selfish moments (or hours, or days!) and stinky attitudes at times.  But the more we focus our efforts away from these things, the more of a sense of peace is present.  Like a haven.  A haven is peaceful.  A haven protects.

For this week's Making Your Home a Haven, the challenge is to light a candle every day.  That's something I like to do anyway!  We are enjoying a "mulled cider" candle right now. :) But this week we are challenged to pray for peace in our home every time the flame catches our eye.

I love that!

Click here for challenge